Saturday, the USS Wolftanic docked in the Heritage Wharf in Bermuda with three less passengers. According to eye witnesses, prominent DJ Perrin (Wolfman) Greycloak was officiating over a dance on the main deck when he spotted a saucer shaped UFO hovering over the ship. One of the dogs yelled, "Wolves and children first! In that order!." Perrin and the two dogs jumped into a giant life preserver on the deck and a beam of shimmering light shined down on all three. When the light dissappeared, they were gone. As the craft flew away, two wolf tails were seen falling to the deck. The tails immediately burst into flame but were quickly extinguished. The tails were supplied by Acme Wolf Tails Co., Forestville, ND.
The presence of the two dogs, named Wolfy and Wolfette, is also a mystery. The dogs were not on the manifest and no one remembers seeing them at their last port of call in Brazil. A biologist who examined a photograph classified the dogs as Canus Lupis Naughtious, a particularly pesky breed of brown and/or purple wolf.
Radar stations in Bermuda report confirmation of a UFO in the area following an erratic course. It later took off straight up and dissappeared. Authorities are investigating (which means don't hold your breath).
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